Interesting day - Relection

So I know that this blog was orignally to post awkward dating moments but I get to post something different today. I was thinking about how my life was a year ago.

One year ago today I was married with two dogs. Managing a storage unit, in Spanish Fork, and living in the apartment there working every other week. I was watching my cute nephew Royal every other week and loving that. I was also helping out with my mom whenever I could. Mom had been in to have her port changed and wasn't doing great. Overall life was just interesting.

Now

Divorced, living in Murray with 3 roommates, working for the state as a caseworker, going to a singles ward, learning how to date, going to therapy once a week, watching my dad date.

Life is different, and I have really hard days sometimes, like today. I am happy now.... much more so then I was a year ago.

I had a friend ask me yesterday for advice because it looks like she will be getting a divorce. I told her to get a good therapist and to know that even when you feel like everything is going well you will still have hard days. I use to think that because I was the one that asked for the divorce and that I really am happier then I was that I wouldn't have hard days. That I would be able to just keep going and be fine and dandy. The reality is that some days just stink! I had therapy yesterday and I just cried. I didn't realize how sad I was that day..... I am having a hard time with the holidays coming and figuring that all out. I feel like everyone else in my family has someone but me... which is hard. But knowing why i am sad is half the battle, cause then I can work on it.

The awkward/interesting part was that I also had ward temple night last night. I rode up to the Bountiful temple with a couple of girls in the ward.... one was my really good friend. I looked at her as I was walking into the temple and told her that I was not okay. She told me that she knows and then I started to cry. I cried all the way into the temple, all the way through changing, in the chapel and half way through the session. I felt bad for the people that I was sitting around as I kept sniffling and such. But it was a good cry cause I really felt a lot better. Then I took a mental health day today and didn't go to work.

So yes there are bad days, and yes some days feel overwhelming. But YES I am doing WAY better then I was and YES I am happy and finding joy in my life. I am grateful for family, friends, and my Savior which make it possible for me to get through all of the crap that I get to go through.

Sorry if this was some what depression but know that life is good....as my dad always says.